Ursula and the Dodgers: Cherished Memories and Memory Care

I wouldn’t say that my mother-in-law, Ursula, loved baseball. But at this time of year, I am reminded of how a Brooklyn Dodgers story could make her happy — and truly helped bring her moments of joy as she struggled with dementia in the last years of her life.

In the late 1940s, Ursula worked as the manager of an Ebinger’s Bakery location near Ebbets Field, the Dodgers’ storied home until they left for Los Angeles in 1958. Dodger players would stop by the bakery after their games to pick up their favorite donuts or jelly rolls. Unfortunately, by the time their afternoon games ended, the bakery was often sold out of many of their favorites.

Seeing this, Ursula started to set aside each player’s favorite in the morning — even though it was against company policy. She made sure that Pee Wee Reese, Duke Snider, Jackie Robinson, Gil Hodges, Roy Campanella and their teammates always got the sweet they wanted.

Grateful and delighted, they were eager to offer her free tickets and other perks — which she would usually decline, because she really wasn’t a baseball fan. But she was incredibly proud that she had forged a relationship with the players and increased Ebinger’s customer loyalty at the same time.

In 2013, after moving from her home of 52 years on Long Island to Annapolis and losing her husband of more than 70 years, Sam, we helped her move into the dedicated memory care portion of a nearby assisted living community.

It quickly became apparent that she was agitated. She would act out at times, becoming quite upset. It was understandable — why shouldn’t she be upset? Dementia aside, she had undergone a series of huge, disorienting changes.

One way I tried to help was writing up five stories about Ursula’s life that were especially meaningful to her. I shared the stories with staff and suggested they ask her about them when she became upset. One of the stories was her interactions with the Dodgers at Ebinger’s.

“What did you do that endeared you to the Dodgers?” staff members would ask. It worked — she would calm down. She considered her work at the bakery and relationship with the Brooklyn players – ‘Dem Bums’ as they were affectionately called – to be core to her identity. It gave her great pride. And it was still there.

We didn’t know in 2013 that these sorts of memories stir the pleasure centers of the brain. We can see it when we look at the brainwaves of someone remembering a fond memory.

That’s why I love the work being done by John Zeisel and I’m Still Here and Kris Engskov and Rippl. Their work with those suffering with dementia recognizes that there’s still a human being there, and we can still connect with that person.

While their short-term memory may be limited or gone, they still have long-term memories. And reminding them of the things that gave them pride, a sense of purpose and belonging, or just joy makes a huge difference. I saw it first-hand with Ursula, the Dodgers and their donuts.