Older Adults Still Pursue Passions and Seek Purpose in Life – Is That a Surprise?

A headline in The New York Times recently asked “Who Said Self-Care Was for Young People?” What followed were stories from older people explaining how their approaches to wellness and staying healthy have changed as they aged.

From one perspective, it was great to see the Times giving this attention to the varied ways older Americans are taking care of their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.

From another perspective, seeing these behaviors cast as surprising is a sad commentary on our ageist assumptions about growing old. Those profiled — in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s — are taking ballet classes, gardening, painting and meditating. Is that shocking? To some, sadly, it still is.

It’s as if we expect people to roll up in a ball and disappear — or roll into a nursing home and wait to die — when they reach a certain age. Older people are all too often seen as being on a continuum of decline, defined by what they are losing every day.

What many people miss is that 85-year-olds have the same desires to pursue passions, have purpose and be engaged with the world that a 25-, 35-, or 45-year-old has. As a recent Age Wave survey put it, most older adults want to be useful, not youthful.

One part of being useful is taking care of yourself. Another part is doing things that allow you to engage with others and have a sense of purpose – a reason to get up each day. Finding spiritual meaning and connection can play a role, too.

I don’t want to be too critical. It’s good that the Times published these people’s stories. They’re enjoyable to read (you won’t forget the 76-year-old roller derby referee), and they can help combat the ageist assumptions many still harbor about older people and their lives.

So I’m glad the piece exists. But I wish we weren’t still explaining this.

Photo courtesy Elizabeth Bick, New York Times