What ‘Familiar Touch’ Can Teach Us About Dementia and Aging

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It’s not surprising that one of the most compelling discussions I heard at the 2025 NIC Fall Conference followed the screening of the award-winning film, “Familiar Touch.”

Familiar Touch is the rare film that portrays aging and dementia with honesty, nuance and care, and we were fortunate to have a session that featured three panelists and a moderator who provided real insights and actionable takeaways.

Here are what I thought were the key points from the session, moderated by Front Porch Communities & Services CEO Sean Kelly:

💡“Familiar Touch” is attuned to who Ruth, the lead character played by Kathleen Chalfant, is now and what she wants and needs — not just what she has lost through dementia.

The film doesn’t deny nor sugarcoat the realities of dementia. But as writer-director Sarah Friedland said, we carry the human spirit with us as we age. We don’t lose it at a certain age or because of a given ailment.

Chalfant’s Ruth is still looking to experience joy. It doesn’t help when many of those around react as if her life is over, fixating on what she has lost.

💡Panelist Kris Engskov, co-founder and CEO of Rippl, challenged our industry and the country to address what we’re facing: an epidemic of older adults with dementia.

That epidemic isn’t coming — it’s here. An increasing percentage of our residents have some form of dementia at some stage.

There are evidence-based best practices available, Kris said, which give operators the chance to do much more than simply warehousing residents. We can help staff connect with them, delay the onset of outward symptoms in some cases, and, most importantly, help individuals regain a sense of joy and human connection.

💡Changes in dementia diagnosis, care and treatment have been coming quickly, and it’s not likely to slow down soon. Monica Moreno, senior director for dementia care navigation for the Alzheimer’s Association®, urged operators to keep up.

There now are person-centered care training guidelines, for instance, and other avenues of support for residents and caregivers. Senior housing and care organizations must ensure their staff is up to speed, with the necessary training and the resource support of experts in the field.

Monica’s points led to a discussion about partnerships. Operators may not feel like experts in this rapidly evolving field, but the Alzheimer’s Association, Rippl and other organizations can offer help in the form of tools, training and the latest expertise.

💡“Familiar Touch” is a unique film which has enabled many needed discussions. Sean said it well:

“(The movie) really provides the rare, honest view of what it may be to be older. I think too often we see one or the other — it’s totally awesome, and we know it’s not, or it’s completely terrible, and we know it’s not just that. It’s both.”

Dodgers

Ursula and the Dodgers: Cherished Memories and Memory Care

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I wouldn’t say that my mother-in-law, Ursula, loved baseball. But at this time of year, I am reminded of how a Brooklyn Dodgers story could make her happy — and truly helped bring her moments of joy as she struggled with dementia in the last years of her life.

In the late 1940s, Ursula worked as the manager of an Ebinger’s Bakery location near Ebbets Field, the Dodgers’ storied home until they left for Los Angeles in 1958. Dodger players would stop by the bakery after their games to pick up their favorite donuts or jelly rolls. Unfortunately, by the time their afternoon games ended, the bakery was often sold out of many of their favorites.

Seeing this, Ursula started to set aside each player’s favorite in the morning — even though it was against company policy. She made sure that Pee Wee Reese, Duke Snider, Jackie Robinson, Gil Hodges, Roy Campanella and their teammates always got the sweet they wanted.

Grateful and delighted, they were eager to offer her free tickets and other perks — which she would usually decline, because she really wasn’t a baseball fan. But she was incredibly proud that she had forged a relationship with the players and increased Ebinger’s customer loyalty at the same time.

In 2013, after moving from her home of 52 years on Long Island to Annapolis and losing her husband of more than 70 years, Sam, we helped her move into the dedicated memory care portion of a nearby assisted living community.

It quickly became apparent that she was agitated. She would act out at times, becoming quite upset. It was understandable — why shouldn’t she be upset? Dementia aside, she had undergone a series of huge, disorienting changes.

One way I tried to help was writing up five stories about Ursula’s life that were especially meaningful to her. I shared the stories with staff and suggested they ask her about them when she became upset. One of the stories was her interactions with the Dodgers at Ebinger’s.

“What did you do that endeared you to the Dodgers?” staff members would ask. It worked — she would calm down. She considered her work at the bakery and relationship with the Brooklyn players – ‘Dem Bums’ as they were affectionately called – to be core to her identity. It gave her great pride. And it was still there.

We didn’t know in 2013 that these sorts of memories stir the pleasure centers of the brain. We can see it when we look at the brainwaves of someone remembering a fond memory.

That’s why I love the work being done by John Zeisel and I’m Still Here and Kris Engskov and Rippl. Their work with those suffering with dementia recognizes that there’s still a human being there, and we can still connect with that person.

While their short-term memory may be limited or gone, they still have long-term memories. And reminding them of the things that gave them pride, a sense of purpose and belonging, or just joy makes a huge difference. I saw it first-hand with Ursula, the Dodgers and their donuts.

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